Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
