im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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