I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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