so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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