Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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