hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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