She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
