Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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