you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
