the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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