make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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