Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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