Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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