Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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