So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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