Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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