We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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