god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
