"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
