why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
