Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
