I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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