My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
