You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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