dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
