Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
