i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
