Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
