Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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