why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
