remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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