Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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