Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize