names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
