and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
