im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
