you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize