one two three fourrrrnication!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
