I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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