I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
