you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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