I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
