Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize