saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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