I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize