I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
two words...techno handjob
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
