I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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