Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
