I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
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i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.