Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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