I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
