I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
