don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
