I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
