There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
