i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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