Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
