I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
