yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
