Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Oral text is very safe with the right protection.

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(951): View more from California

I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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(228): View more from Mississippi

two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.

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(206): View more from Washington

imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

(206): View more from Washington

Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?

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(443): View more from Maryland

just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single

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