We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low