Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize